Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Customer Service Flashbacks

A memory extract of my previous job experience whilst working for a cable tv/isp/telco company.

On Cable TV :

1) How can you all charge me for all this channels? I never watch them at all and yet you guys keep charging me for it. I demand that you do not charge me for the channels I've not watched.

Very Cliched answer sir, you see, let's say if you were to get a loan for a car via installments and don't drive the car at all. Do you call the company up and insist that you do not get charged for not driving the car?

2) Why can't you activate the new channels NOW? I don't have anything else to watch or do if you don't activate them.

Customer has the higher tier package, allowing him to access 90% of all channels. I doubt 1 extra channel will make his life any better if that's the case

3) Your decoder box just scolded me! It was swearing at me! I'm gonna sue your company for this!

o_o what shit were you smoking sir/madam?

4) Cust: My account has been suspended, why did you suspend my account?
Me : Well that might be due to your delayed payment sir
Cust: Well I didn't get any reminders from your side. How can you just suspend my account just like that?
Me: Let me check,well we sent a reminder of payment letter to your household sir.
Cust: I never received it!
Me: It appears that we even made 3 calls to you to remind you of your payment sir.
Cust: I don't remember those at all! That's not fair

There's no cure for ignorance....and stupidity

On Telco :

Cust : "Ello, I want puki"
Me : "I beg your pardon sir?"
Cust : "My Phone need Puki,can you give me puki?"

Customer was actually inquiring on his Puk1 number. Usually happens if you incorrectly entered your Sim Card Pin Code for 3 times.

On ISP :

1) Why did you block my email sending capabilities? I'm not sending spam, i'm sending legitimate promotions to my customers! I want to hear an explanation from your company at once! What do you mean I can't send more than 200 emails in an hour? I have a few thousand customers to send to, What do you expect me to do?

Have you looked up the definition of spam lately sir/madam?

2) Me: Good Afternoon, I'm calling from xxx regarding to your internet problems,I'd like to know if the technician came over today?
Cust: Yes he did
Me: Did the technician say anything about the connection?
Cust: Yes he did say something
Me: ...

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