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Sunday, March 1, 2009

Fillers.

All of these are gotten from bash.org, Ryan is too lazy to blog tonight.

[Rabidplaybunny87]: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
[GarbageStan23]: why?
[Rabidplaybunny87]: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
[Rabidplaybunny87]: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!
[GarbageStan23]: oh shit!
[Rabidplaybunny87]: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
[Rabidplaybunny87]: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....
[Rabidplaybunny87]: talk about bad timing...


[Khassaki] HI EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!
[Judge-Mental] try pressing the the Caps Lock key
[Khassaki] O THANKS!!! ITS SO MUCH EASIER TO WRITE NOW!!!!!!!
[Judge-Mental] fuck me


[jeebus] the "bishop" came to our church today
[jeebus] he was a fucken impostor
[jeebus] never once moved diagonally


[JonTG] Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z
[JonTG] wait, shit


[MooseOnDaLoose] Hey Mike
[goatboy] what?
[MooseOnDaLoose] Pussy.
[goatboy] er?
[MooseOnDaLoose] Pussy.
[goatboy] and?
[MooseOnDaLoose] Pussy.
[goatboy] ...
[MooseOnDaLoose] Pussy.
[goatboy] i dont get it
[MooseOnDaLoose] AND YOU NEVER WILL.
[goatboy] bastard


[cassius_clay13] so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar
[cassius_clay13] well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke
[cassius_clay13] so i helped him walk to the toilet
[cassius_clay13] all the stalls were occupied
[emoti_conartist] lol
[cassius_clay13] bryan is a rugby player... so a big guy
[cassius_clay13] so he fucking KICKS one of the stall doors open
[cassius_clay13] and there's this guy in there taking a shit
[emoti_conartist] hahahahahaha
[cassius_clay13] and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM
[cassius_clay13] then (this is genius) bryan thinks 'oh shit... if i were taking a shit and someone came in and was sick all over me, i'd want to fuck him up... so i'd better hit him first'
[cassius_clay13] so he fucking SMACKS this guy in the face
[cassius_clay13] and runs away
[cassius_clay13] imagine being that guy... WORST NIGHT OUT EVER


[Anonymous] Now, I’m sure many of you have encountered little shits in supermarkets. Little kids running about and knocking things over, being rude, walking all over their parents, you know the kind. But the worst are the biters. Yes, those little cunts that feel it is okay to bite you whenever they feel like it.
[Anonymous] Okay, here’s the best part. A biter got me today when I was grocery stopping. He broke the fucking skin, too. This was when the gears started turning, the moment I saw a tiny sprickle of blood on the little shit’s teeth as he was grinning at me like the little cunt he is. I made my eyes get wide, and started screaming “SHIT! SHIT!.” Now, my good friend, Tom we’ll call him, was there too, and he instantly picked up on it. He started shouting “FUCK! MAYBE HE DIDN’T GET IT! FUCK!.” By now, the kid is scared shitless and starts crying, and instantly, Mizz Mom appears out of nowhere and starts getting pissy at us for yelling at her kid.
[Anonymous] Here’s the kicker, I look her straight in the eye and say, “Mam, get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and I’m… I’m FUCKING HIV POSITIVE.”
[Anonymous] And now there is silence. Not a peep in the entire store. The brat knows he just fucked up big time because his mom isn’t defending his ass. She just stares at me wide eyed. I walk away from them, buy my shit from the wide eyed cashier, all the while blood is dripping from my calf, making a nice little trail on the floor. And, just s we leave, we start to hear the mother sobbing. Sobbing like the cunt she is.
[Anonymous] I have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment I heard that sob.


[Locl-Yocl] I helped the EMTs at a car wreck and got blood all over my arms and shirt. It looked like I murdered 20 people with a fork... anyway, I walked into a convieniance store down the street and said my girlfriend needs a tampon. The guy at the counter was mortified.


[LordChewy] so my dad found my porn folder
[LordChewy] and he was getting all pissed
[LordChewy] so its all like "does this surprise you? i'm not stupid you know"
[LordChewy] "i know dad"
[LordChewy] "what do you have to say for yourself?"
[LordChewy] at this point i stare at him straight in the eyes and say "C:Documents and SettingsRickyMy Documentsfaxessent faxes"
[LordChewy] and he just shut up
[kingKahn] what is it?
[LordChewy] its his porn folder


[Mikkel] If you went camping and you got REALLY drunk with your friend and you
woke up the next morning with a condom stuck up your ass would you tell anybody?
[Celestya] i dont think so
[Mikkel] Wanna go camping?

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